Heartbreaking

Tonight i choked on some tears as i rested against the kitchen counter trying to figure how I could mend myself and make me better,whilst hoping that he’d change his mind.

Change his mind bout leaving and stay with this broken woman. We had fallen many times before,and apologies were accumulating, his patience was loudly running thin,and I refused to acknowledge them. I was selfish in my pursuits for happiness, forcing my fairy tales down the throat of a mare man who I took for granted.

I always felt I was full of love and had so much to give,until I met someone who loved differently than me and it was hard to understand his love language and me not seeing it caused me to question that love.

I conclude that I’m hard to love and to show love in a way that isn’t copied,but is real and genuine coming from my vulnerable place,my heart,I failed at love because I didn’t trust myself enough to receive it,I was afraid and I held back,in holding back he released me.

Love without trust is empty,and I’m learning to fill that jar,so help me God,grain by grain,for I can’t stand being heartbroken again.

Written by

Laurna Guiste

 

 

This moment is your life

What is life that we’re afraid to live it? Why do we hold back or not give it our all why do we always say tomorrow, when the only sure thing is today.

If you could be anything in the world what would it be? If you could go anywhere where would you go? What is keeping you back from unleashing your greatest self? What’s holding you down and caging your wings? Is it fear? Worry,lack?

We can make excuses for living but one day for sure we must die,and whether or not we enjoy life we will leave this place.

The word says a wise man leaves an inheritance for his children,the word says its good that we work and eat the fruit of our labours.God honors hard work and our whole duty is to serve HIM AND love Him for He’s a jealous God. I’m encouraging us to enjoy life,live it up and make wise decisions. Do what you love and love what you do,be happy in this moment, for this moment is your life!

Written by

Laurna Guiste

Get up already!

Life is super short,today already marks the 8th day into the new year and I can’t help wish the weekend would rewind. I don’t know but I believe I’ve acquired some new wisdom for the new year that has taught me to number my days. Meaning to recognize the importance of months,weeks,days and moments. Learning not to waste it,as much as I’m a tgif fan I’m learning to love Mondays and appreciate what I do in that day,cause that day is part of my life.

I’ve recently started gym in the early mornings before work and it has me looking forward to each day. I love new things like many of us,we have passion for something when it’s new and fresh but after a few months that fire kind of dwindles( I hope that doesn’t happen to me). Gym has me feeling so energetic and hype in the mornings,like I can face anything. Believe me after lifting those weights I sure can.

But yes, time is quickly going by,and what are we doing about it? I bet there are projects we started in 2016 that are yet to be accomplished, I know I do. That thing we keep putting off,postponing and procrastinating over,let’s get on with it already. Faith without works is dead and as mush as I love wishful thinking,wishing or talking about accomplishing something doesn’t make it happen. We have to make the sacrices to see things happen,we got to push in that extra work.

When working on my first book for example I had to be at it,always writing even if the work wasn’t the best at first I wrote anyway and edited after. Persistence and hard work do bring success,God is not going to publish the book for you,you’ve got to get your butt up and get it done. He’ll bring you the favor and blessings,sales,recognition in due time,but you have to take that first step.

So my encouragement to you is,go for it,do more actions less talking and let’s see how much we can get done. God speed.

Written by

Laurna Guiste

My new year Resolutions.. #1

What’s the truth behind New year’s resolutions? Do they actually work? Has anyone gone through with any of them? I would like to shake the hand of the man/woman who has ticked off everything off that list. Don’t get me wrong,this is coming from someone who’s a sold believer to writing the vision and making it plain, I’m always found writing/ setting goals,dreams,aspirations, visions,that’s me,it keeps me inspired. I know by now I’m a dreamer and as lame as it may sound I’ve actually seen some of my dreams become a reality.many didn’t happen in the sequence I thought it would but it did.

So I do understand the concept of stating your ” new year resolutions ” just that as I get older,wisdom forces me to get beyond the paper and dream in action,for faith without works is dead. I’m actually not going to write anything down, just going to keep it to my head and pray hard about it. I’m not going to tell anyone, if it happens it happens. But I’m not going to let anyone stop me,I’m going at this trusting God’s desire above mine. Because truth is I make plans but at the end of the day God directs my steps.

So I’m actually waiting to hear the stories of your resolutions that you’ve actually gone through and accomplish. Please share and be an encouragement to us all. With that said,Happy,blessed New Year to all my readers,followers,fans and colleagues, may this year be one worth writing about.

Written by

Laurna Guiste

Merry Christmas

So we’re sitting at his family’s Christmas dinner table and he pulls out this little black box. My heart starts racing,my throat gets dry and I start gulping down more wine.His parents are too distracted over slicing the turkey to notice the serious look on his face. He gives me this intense look that causes me to cough on the Merlot,his sister rubs my back and his cousins starts laughing. The music is loud and he mouths me something, now I’m incredibly terrible at reading lips so I’m lost. After guessing what he said I gave up and decided to lean in closer. In doing so some gravy spilled over my dress and everyone becomes frantic,he rushes over to me and helps me dry my dress with some napkins. He puts the box in his shirt pocket “What were you saying?” I asked nervously.

Never mind he said,I’ll tell you later,I frowned and in came his drunk uncle who wasnt invited he was furious and started throwing a fit. My boyfriend rushes in just in time to suffer a punch in the face that was intended for his dad ,the women scream and Marcus my boyfriend is down flat with blood oozing from his nose.

I rush over and bring napkins to his nose to stop the bleeding.Marcus’s dad is now at his brother’s throat and Marcus’s mom Mitchel is crying as her two daughters come to my side,I couldn’t believe what was suppose to be maybe my best Christmas turned out to be a disaster.

Couple hours later we’re at the hospital with Marcus and his uncle who both shot each other in the leg. I’m sitting in the waiting room with Marcus coat on me as he speaks to the doctors,I remember the box,I numbly reached for it and opened it…

Written by

Laurna Guiste

Wiseroots

The Wiseroots Barbershop was renowned back in the 70’s,the days where men rocked their FROs and bells bottoms,taking drugs and partying wild. It was that time when men seemed lost and seemed direction that they would casually have a sit on one of the leather chairs, awaiting their turn for a trim.

The older men would nurture the younger ones with stories from their youth,passing on wisdom and lessons.Players would beg to learn a trick or two but the elders would only share how to be a gentleman and how to treat a lady.

The leather chairs over the years became an arena for discussions over politics,drugs,women,family, culture, race you name it. Nothing wasn’t hidden and the raw truth was spoken on daily life situations. It was at the barbershop Sam sat dumfounded when he found out he was going to be a father,at 18 just out of school with no job,he was given a job at the shop after being lectured on responsibility.

The Wise roots barbershop wasnt the best in latest cuts and trims but they held a warm,educational and entertaining ambience. A spot mothers would drop off their sons when they needed a good talk about being a real man or just a good boy. Many husbands would woo their wives after Mr Taylor told them his secrets of how he kept his marriage of 45 years strong,God,good talk and good sex he often said and the men would laugh at the 82 year old chap.

The barbarshop closed for a few months after the passing of Mr Taylor in the 90’s it was a sad day in that town and since his passing the place hasn’t been the same.

His son took over and runs it up to this day but he isn’t his father and though he tries his best to give advise these days they just are not received as before. The neighborhood has grown cold and filled with violence and drug pushers. The chairs are not as filled and when the talk is just about how it used to be.

Written by

Laurna Guiste

P.S Fiction

Sweet and wise soul

Music and a huge grin is what he was known for,other than being a good accountant there was little I knew about him.

We worked at the same establishment for years and never spoke to each other, and even when I said hi his headphones just seemed a little louder. Can’t quite recall how we became friends or how we started talking but ever since we did we have not stopped.

It’s weird how amazing friendships can be birthed from casual greetings.Getting to know this individual over the years has allowed me to see him evolve into a fine young gentleman. From a character that has matured to be quite ambitious, intelligent, kind,family oriented,to one who is wise,curious and fears God.

I admire this young man’s courage and persistence, even in the midst of his disappointments,heartbreaks and pain I’ve seen him rise in positivity. It’s a blessing to call him friend and the fact we share the same adventurous strike makes it more interesting to have him in my circle.

His smile is still as broad and he still enjoys his music but he has grown to be much wiser than his age,and he continues to inspire me to rise to greatness.

Written by

Laurna Guiste

Count down

So,it’s thirteen more days till Christmas and many of us are very excited to do our last minute shoppings,have family over, sharing of gifts,having lots to eat and drink,most of us throw diets out the window including myself during that time.(lol)

I honestly enjoy this time of year,it’s my favorite holiday,and no matter what age I am,Christmas always has me feeling warm on the inside. I live in the Caribbean where there isn’t any snow to make snow man’s or snow angels,nonetheless that hasn’t kept the kids from believing in Santa Claus and enjoying their new toys.

In the Caribbean we celebrate Christmas by indulging in huge purchases of hams and turkeys, pork,beef.. this is the part where cow’s butchered body is suspended by the legs while a group of buyers stand yelling how much bounds of meat they want . This may seem uncivilized, but this is viewed quite normal in the Caribbean society and the health inspectors ensures it is free from harm and good for consumption.

Canons made from bamboo,being  fired up by an excited boy blowing through a hole on the other end a fun yet risky experience which have left many boys without eye lashes. But nothing compare to the booming sound marking the celebration of the Christmas season,a childhood tradition that never ends.

I recall as a child waiting for my mother to return from town with loads of shopping and with a new doll,no matter how many dolls I had I always wanted a new one. Sodas sold by the crate were many,candy canes,ginger bear,eggnog and fruit cake marked the commencement of a jolly,green Caribbean Christmas.

To be continued

Written by

Laurna Guiste