Many go to work every day… heavyhearted and unhappy all the way. Others truly love what they do… singing and happy all the way through. Then others are really feeling at a loss… love their job but have an abusive boss. Then countless others have lost their jobs… feeling like their entire careers been robbed. So whichever are you and wherever you fall… remember that God truly knows it all.
I am grateful for the people who unconsciously push me forward everyday!
The disappointments i encountered acted like blessings which aided in making me into a better person. He telling me i am ugly made me work more on my inside beauty, in learning to love myself i became beautiful.
His words were arrows pulled so far back,being the evil archer, he wanted to bleed my heart, but he didn’t know his cruel intentions were only launching me further out into my destiny.
He constantly told me i wasn’t good enough and that i wouldn’t amount to anything. He spat out his put downs,but he didn’t know they acted like heavy weights to my shoulders that i was forced to lift up and down,feeling up next time i’m down, but everyday i gained muscle and strength on the words that were intended to crush me.
With him i felt like the worst and in letting go I was forced to become my best, I had to prove him wrong, let him see his calculations of me were misjudged and i was underestimated.
He telling me i was dumb made me push myself in becoming wiser and today i can win him in his own arguments. I am proud of who i have become, i have changed and evolved into the woman he dreamed would give him a second chance or a second look.
My experiences made me better, God used them to lunch me into my destiny, i changed at first to feel worthy and accepted by him and when he saw it at first he thought i was bluffing, but my reality have succumbed his imagination as i am an extraordinary woman who would never settle for an ordinary man like him.
We ought to be what we want others to become, so when they have arrived they will join us in the race and not watch us in the crowd of wannabes.
Thank God for the stumbling blocks others placed in your way,God is going to use them as stepping stones.
Never be afraid to dream! no matter how scary it gets keep believing in yourself and have faith it will happen . One day God is going to surprise you, your faith and effort is going to pay off. Keep trying as your efforts form the bricks that will one day build your foundation.
Love when will you come running through my door, I aint got time for you to knock, I have been sitting here too long to even wait for you to apologize for breaking the door on your way in. Are those real flowers, are they for me? Oh love, come right in. I have been waiting for hours,heck years I been seeing all my friends hanging out with you, you’re a big star ,I see pictures of you everywhere, all over the media, bombarding me, love I don’t want to just hop unto the band wagon but you sure look exciting.
I see the way some couples handle you, like you set their world on fire, bringing them smiles and happiness meeting their heart’s desire, I don’t know why you just seem to change everything and everyone you touch, you are just too magical.
Love I have had met others who claimed to be you, similar face, touch even smelled like you, but they never lasted, living before I knew what it was really all about, I know you want me as ,much as I want you love, I crave you. Many candy men claim to possess you, but what they got are expired, hand me downs I want the true honey, chocolate, drop loving that can’t be replaced with anything fake.
I want the real deal the one that last, not for just hours, but forever, one that is deep, rich and permanent. Oh love spear me the jokers I aint got time for them I only will settle for a hunk like you, because no one does what you do, you are irreplaceable and you make me feel alive just by talking to you.
I wish forever to be caught in this age, not changing anything, living off the bittersweet moments I indulge in, let my youth linger as a never ending tune on this newly, polished piano.. I want to play, dance in the sun and not care about anything quite serious, I just want to hang out till late hours and feel free. Don’t place boundaries on my youth, restraining orders, they only make me burst through the chains later on in life, so let me enjoy my youth.
Today being home, still feeling a little sick from the flu i felt the urge to draw, now its been a while since i have drawn anything, i took an art class in high school but I’m no professional, though i come from a linage of great artist it has never been my forte per say. Anyways i couldn’t resist so I got my pencils,got some manila paper,located an eraser, wanted some crayons thought i had some lying around,unfortunately i did not. So i worked with what i had..
I suddenly had this need to hear Celine Dion” My heart will go on Titanic soundtrack while drawing, sounds silly but it just felt like it would inspire the mood for drawing even more , i don’t know i guess my subconscious wanted to see Leonardo in action in order to spur its wings, its just weird sometimes how our mind works lol. Next thing you know i am watching Titanic and drawing away.
My eyes piercing through to my soul, acknowledging the distance in which I have come,
My hands embracing, some sort of resistance at first but holding my shoulders reaffirming that it’s going to be ok,
I once felt ugly, didn’t feel important and didn’t know my purpose,
I hated myself sometimes, most times,
Comparing myself with others, trying to fit in, often left me misplaced and alone,
Wasn’t until Christ came into my life that I started to appreciate this woman,
I appreciated the details that made me different
I came to love the uniqueness, in which God made me,
Found my purpose, and still discovering many others,
God indeed makes the difference in our lives, adding purpose and worth, reminding us why we are here, and that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, not only in the physical but also a wonderful life. Our lives should revolve around Him. When you get close to God He sort of changes your self-image, you no longer live to please others but you live to please Him, and you realize He accepts you and loves you no matter how imperfect you may feel or look.
He loves you unconditionally and you are indeed beautiful, with a splendid mind body and soul (better believe it)!
Years ago,I was walking down a dusty alley, hands in my suspenders,when i happened to look to the wall to my right and captured pieces of a broken, tarnished mirror,almost camouflaged by graffiti. The reflection was blurry but i could still recognize the wrinkled forehead,a hand quickly clasped over my lips in disbelief i was 70 years old and i wouldn’t know it,if i hadn’t seen this mirror.
Back home i made it a habit of not slowing down and grasp vanity but to live, explored the world,danced, wrote,filled empty bellies,made people laugh and smile by doing or saying something funny. I ate healthy because i wanted to see my great grand children, i wanted to walk Shelby down the aisle i wanted to paint and take photos of the wedding and photos of the rain as it fell off the rims of my cow boy hat.
I started to smile at this wrinkled fellow as i remembered these good times,i truly lived and i didn’t just exist, i brushed some dust off my forehead and continued walking, i was headed towards my best friends funeral..with comfort knowing that one day it will be my turn i will have no regrets.
Quit the small talk, follow me to the bedroom i want to rip parts of my heart to you,give you pieces of me. Taste me, feel me, become one with me,write me a letter across your heart..seal it with your blood.
When you feel like writing sometimes you just don’t want to stop