When there is no more emotion to express, but it’s clear that I’m angry,
when I want you to hold me because right now I feel empty, but I also need to breathe and analyze why you keep tripping,and can’t love me right,
I used to believe in fairy tales,but knowing you crushed my childish dreams,turned them into fantasies,
Like needles and thorns, brittles and crowns I tried to win your heart,
but I came up,empty.
I know you want me at my best,but it’s had to love someone when they aint giving you what you need, our love is complicated, messed up and undefined, that I no longer know what is mine,
Two broken pieces, caught in a maze, trying to build on a love built in rage,lies and conceit, i am amazed that we can still kiss, is it just lust then why am I on my knees.
It’s hard to speak when you’ve said all the words, it’s hard to hold on,when you continue to hurt, I wish you nothing but happy, like cheese on the moon,i want you to stay and not leave too soon,
I wish you were happy,quiet, just like me,then just maybe we could start that family.
Went to the beach yesterday, with the sun glistening against my skin, giving me that much needed tan. Sun was scorching hot,perfect weather for going out. Packed my swim suit and sunshades and out the door I went. Hopping a bus and made it across the country, passing trees, villages, and mountain capes, Nature calling at me to Come embrace it,and I indeed was.
Made it to the part of the island and the sea was shimmering blue, reflecting the sky. Black sand between my toes, with fishermen boats stacked alongside the shore as kids swam in the lucid waters. What a beautiful day I thought to myself as I walked along the shoreline. There was this cool breeze that caused my white blouse to hug my shoulders, i welcomed the fact it made the sun bearable as I made my way towards the cabanas.
I could see some green mountains in the distance, some areas were stacked with colorful houses, creating a beautiful display of colors amongst green vegetation.
Two coconut trees stood brilliant with an abundance of coconuts, holding up a hammock where a lazy rata man laid with his herb in one hand. I noticed he smiled as he looked out in to the sea at the tourists out on their yachts. I greeted him as I passed on he cat called me and I smiled back and continued walking. The cabana was decorated with white drapes and two lounge chairs where stationed beneath each, I sat down, put my legs up, tilted my head back, as a waitress came up to me and pleasantly asked what I wanted,
“One virgin pinna colada,please” I said as she wrote it down in a small note pad and went off to the small wooden bar behind us. Raggae music was playing softly in the background as I closed my eyes,i knew this beach was exactly what I needed.
Torn between red velvet sheets and course bed posts, i struggle to stand and wake from this beautiful nightmare!
Tonight i choked on some tears as i rested against the kitchen counter trying to figure how I could mend myself and make me better,whilst hoping that he’d change his mind.
Change his mind bout leaving and stay with this broken woman. We had fallen many times before,and apologies were accumulating, his patience was loudly running thin,and I refused to acknowledge them. I was selfish in my pursuits for happiness, forcing my fairy tales down the throat of a mare man who I took for granted.
I always felt I was full of love and had so much to give,until I met someone who loved differently than me and it was hard to understand his love language and me not seeing it caused me to question that love.
I conclude that I’m hard to love and to show love in a way that isn’t copied,but is real and genuine coming from my vulnerable place,my heart,I failed at love because I didn’t trust myself enough to receive it,I was afraid and I held back,in holding back he released me.
Love without trust is empty,and I’m learning to fill that jar,so help me God,grain by grain,for I can’t stand being heartbroken again.
What is life that we’re afraid to live it? Why do we hold back or not give it our all why do we always say tomorrow, when the only sure thing is today.
If you could be anything in the world what would it be? If you could go anywhere where would you go? What is keeping you back from unleashing your greatest self? What’s holding you down and caging your wings? Is it fear? Worry,lack?
We can make excuses for living but one day for sure we must die,and whether or not we enjoy life we will leave this place.
The word says a wise man leaves an inheritance for his children,the word says its good that we work and eat the fruit of our labours.God honors hard work and our whole duty is to serve HIM AND love Him for He’s a jealous God. I’m encouraging us to enjoy life,live it up and make wise decisions. Do what you love and love what you do,be happy in this moment, for this moment is your life!
Moon glistening against your cheeks as we close our eyes,stroking your chin,locked eyes as we kiss.
Life is super short,today already marks the 8th day into the new year and I can’t help wish the weekend would rewind. I don’t know but I believe I’ve acquired some new wisdom for the new year that has taught me to number my days. Meaning to recognize the importance of months,weeks,days and moments. Learning not to waste it,as much as I’m a tgif fan I’m learning to love Mondays and appreciate what I do in that day,cause that day is part of my life.
I’ve recently started gym in the early mornings before work and it has me looking forward to each day. I love new things like many of us,we have passion for something when it’s new and fresh but after a few months that fire kind of dwindles( I hope that doesn’t happen to me). Gym has me feeling so energetic and hype in the mornings,like I can face anything. Believe me after lifting those weights I sure can.
But yes, time is quickly going by,and what are we doing about it? I bet there are projects we started in 2016 that are yet to be accomplished, I know I do. That thing we keep putting off,postponing and procrastinating over,let’s get on with it already. Faith without works is dead and as mush as I love wishful thinking,wishing or talking about accomplishing something doesn’t make it happen. We have to make the sacrices to see things happen,we got to push in that extra work.
When working on my first book for example I had to be at it,always writing even if the work wasn’t the best at first I wrote anyway and edited after. Persistence and hard work do bring success,God is not going to publish the book for you,you’ve got to get your butt up and get it done. He’ll bring you the favor and blessings,sales,recognition in due time,but you have to take that first step.
So my encouragement to you is,go for it,do more actions less talking and let’s see how much we can get done. God speed.
What’s the truth behind New year’s resolutions? Do they actually work? Has anyone gone through with any of them? I would like to shake the hand of the man/woman who has ticked off everything off that list. Don’t get me wrong,this is coming from someone who’s a sold believer to writing the vision and making it plain, I’m always found writing/ setting goals,dreams,aspirations, visions,that’s me,it keeps me inspired. I know by now I’m a dreamer and as lame as it may sound I’ve actually seen some of my dreams become a reality.many didn’t happen in the sequence I thought it would but it did.
So I do understand the concept of stating your ” new year resolutions ” just that as I get older,wisdom forces me to get beyond the paper and dream in action,for faith without works is dead. I’m actually not going to write anything down, just going to keep it to my head and pray hard about it. I’m not going to tell anyone, if it happens it happens. But I’m not going to let anyone stop me,I’m going at this trusting God’s desire above mine. Because truth is I make plans but at the end of the day God directs my steps.
So I’m actually waiting to hear the stories of your resolutions that you’ve actually gone through and accomplish. Please share and be an encouragement to us all. With that said,Happy,blessed New Year to all my readers,followers,fans and colleagues, may this year be one worth writing about.