Glad You came

I wasn’t suppose to meet you, not at this time,

not at the time my life was supposedly falling apart,

Not like this..

I wasn’t suppose to be this happy and well secure in your arms

in a time when heartbreak came calling and I was left without much of a logical explanation,no real closure and just left hanging,

I wasn’t suppose to be laughing hard and recovering this quick,

See life’s a bitch and she slapped me,she slapped me hard,

Left me with scars and many times with a broken heart,wet eyes and a lot of if only ..

You were not suppose to be my escape,my happy place,the one person that can stand me when he holds me, I was suppose to be falling in defeat,

But instead I found myself falling in love,

Found myself smiling and for the first time not worrying about a text or a call back,he gets it,he gets me

I wasn’t suppose to feel this free with somebody,and find love this easy,

Cause I’m used to it being so hard,

Hard to love and be love back,

I’m getting used to you having my back during the time its being stabbed,

You have held me in my darkest moments because of your light

and your pureness of love,

Life hardships are feeble,they don’t stand a chance because you make me strong and loved.

I just want you to know that you came when God saw I needed

you the most.

Written by

Laurna Guiste

People come,People go

I know I’m not the first person this has happened to,I have lost friends and it happened over something so petty that I’m not even sure what it was. Just about a month ago we were at a bar laughing and having fire ball shots,celebrating my birthday. They all gave me gifts and there was a cake and everyone seemed happy,but today so much has changed. In such a short space of time my so called friends have vanished.

Like a cold wind at Christmas,those friends came and went before I could print out one of our outing pictures to frame up. I am left wondering were they my friends to begin with and where did we go wrong. For sure an incident happened and there was a huge misunderstanding but shouldn’t friends communicate their differences and patch things up?

Instead a silence commenced that gave rise to seeds of gossip that spread faster than any grape vine at the office. Cold shoulders,strong ignore games became sport of the day and no one seemed to care enough to break the code of silence. Silence I know is some sort of abuse,low manipulation and done to hurt the other. This has been going on for weeks and tension keeps building and breeding on negativity,causing a some what mold infestation at a stagnant friendship.

Conversations no longer flow,no greetings or acts of kindness shown,nothing but coldness.

Nothing but bruised egos and repetition of a flimsy story in guise of an excuse to cover up the real intentions as to why we stopped talking in the first place. Everyday I grow tired of the whispers and the sarcastic remarks made to sound funny and non judgemental. But I feel judged by a clan of women,calling me the names by which they act FAKE. I feel pulled in a corner, confronted by hate,envy and emotionally marked for reasons I’m not clear about.

Reasons I’m to clear about,reasons no one chooses to address,because I believe no one really wants this to be fixed. Underneath the hurtful manipulation lies a love for drama and negativity in their otherwise boring life,where nothing interesting happens. And they must talk about you because when they talk of themselves no one listens.

So, I’ve lost friends..what else is new?

Written by

Laurna G

Balance

Self confidence is a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgement.

I have oftentimes doubted myself and because of that I sometimes lack confidence. This can be seen in my reluctance to try new things,especially in the field of Sports. Growing up I was often made fun of the way I caught a ball and my sportsmanship suffered because of it,hence after a while I stopped playing sports altogether.

Honestly I am sort of clumsy and I sometimes bounce into things,drop things and have had some embarrassing moments.

The ugly truth is I sometimes lack confidence and on bad days I have to fake it to make it through a normal day. I have to suck in my fear of large crowds and do what I got to do. I know this takes great bravery as I could choose to be a total recluse and not even dare go out to work.

There are some things that I do that helps me make it through a huge crown on really bad days,days when I wish I could melt through the crowd and no one would notice how fair I am,and how I squint my eyes in the sun and how many freckles that cover my face,though my boyfriend likes them,they attract admirers(most times the wrong types).

I have many quirky traits and over the years I have learnt to embrace the awkward,fair,freckled face,wildly wired beautiful soul I am and I have found someone who loves me too but there are days I still feel like crap and I find it hard to make eye contact.

So one of the things I do on really bad days is look down,stare at the streets like they are more interesting than the dozen of faces looking at me.I look at buildings,cars,my reflection in puddles anything to distract me from the attention of people.

On the days that I’m feeling great though I take advantage of this rare occasion and I look up,I notice people,I notice their faces,their freckles, I smile, I greet people,I notice things I love those days.

Today was one of those days,I walked the streets like I owned it, I made small talk and told the vendors keep the change. I looked up so high that I noticed the sky,I noticed people and I noticed that they were not looking at me as much as I thought. Many were just too busy going on their merry way properly trying to avoid the crowd like me on bad days.

My eyes was so stuck on people on the other side of the road,I watched up and down before crossing the streets and I confidently walked over and then I slipped over something. I looked back and saw I stepped on this huge,dead rat..Oh my God I panicked until other pedestrians looked back at me. I felt so disgusted and couldn’t get the image out of my head..I was so high that I didn’t bother looking down,felt so confident that I didn’t slow down to notice the mess before me I was too busy looking kool crossing the road with my confident bounce.

Moral of the story is no matter how high and confident you are,if you don’t bother looking down you will walk into a lot of garbage..know where you are headed but never forget where you came from.

Humility is the quality of having a modest or low view of one’s importance.

Sounds of Fire

Veils lifted, he became awake with my kisses,

Skin on fire, flesh becomes amber beneath my touch,

Eyes fiery,breath emits smoke and fire,

Gentle touches burns my skin with desire,

Liquid flow,over my labia majora,

Pressing my gates,forcing entry,

Then flowing naturally,

Entering as a sinner not a saint,

Covering me with paint,

Staining my sheets,

Making a masterpiece out of me,

Emitting music out of me,

Sounds of loudness that makes us quiet

After we burn out and we rest

Written by

Laurna Guiste