Twin 🔥

The mstery that holds me and makes me weak,

He doesn’t know how I surrender to his stare as he holds it, he holds me.

Scares me a little but at the same time draws me in,

A darkness,a light,a seduction, a story

A pain,the madness

A sexiness,a realness that unclothes all lies,exposes your weakness and some what makes you comfortable,

A gift waiting to be open,so much potential,

A maze waiting to be followed, I am lost for words yet he articulates every word my body says.

My moon in his chart,a ready set fire,exploding in a million galaxies in this life and beyond.

Written by

L G

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Sick leave

I’m lying here,looking up at a white ceiling,

My feet are cold beneath this blanket,

Silence

The kids are at school, parents are at work,

I’m lying here

Nothing to do but everything to feel

Funny how when you’re at work you wish you were home,

But now that I’m home I actually miss work, I miss the outdoors, the sun gosh I miss the sun,

Though it’s a complete nuisance and annoyance when I’m up and about but today I miss it

I’m thinking of things to do then again I’m required to rest,

But honestly I’m restless my mind is racing,

I can’t be lazy lying in bed makes me sick

But it’s what the doctors recommend

Oh boi

Help!

Written by

L Guiste

The rupture

Who was this person standing over me,shaking me by the shoulders. It took me a while to separate dream from reality and decipher the person starring at me,the person shaking me was my father I had fainted.

On November 22nd I experienced the most excruciating pain I had ever felt in the area of my left ovary, my life seemed out of my control and I was at the mercy of my health provider.

I awoke that morning with premenstrual like pains in my lower abdomen and thought little of it as my period was due any day now. I made my way to the downstairs of my home and started preparing my lunch to head to work. I went to use the washroom and I recall the pain intensifying.Before-long I was curled up in a ball on my bed crying like a baby and wanting the pain to stop.I felt nauseous and started throwing up the little breakfast that I had managed to eat and that’s all I recall.

I mustered the strength to see my gynecologist that morning a trip that I never anticipated, me a woman who avoided a pap smear was willing to strip down naked and get a vaginal scan. Pain has a way of overshadowing all our other emotions even that of embarrassment. The procedure was of-course painful and I was told that the pain could be the result of a ruptured ovarian cyst.

A ruptured cyst that bursts open (ruptures) can cause severe pain and bleeding inside the pelvis. The larger the cyst, the greater the risk of rupture.

I was given some pain killers, was told to monitor it and sent home to rest. The meds worked only a few hours, I soon became restless and was in pain again. I called my doctor about 5pm and told him what was happening he informed me that I should continue monitoring and take another pain killer,if not I should go to the hospital to have an emergency surgery done.

I had taken two pain killers within a short span of time and knew I had to go in,I was rushed to the health center and had to explain everything over again by the time I ended speaking the pain killers had kicked in and I had no signs of distress so was asked to go home and monitor yet again. My family was reassuring me that I shouldn’t panic and that I should wait for the painkillers to kick in.

So I went home and felt ok, went to bed but woke up feeling restless and my stomach was upside down. I went to my living room and tried to sit still but I could not,the pain was coming back.I had no doubts that I had to go in,something was definitely wrong.

My sister and I rushed to the ER that Wednesday morning and I was dedicated a nursing student to be with me and this turned out to be bittersweet. Sweet in the sense she stayed with me all through ,assisting me and ensured I get all attention I needed, bitter in the fact she indeed was a student in training and needed guidance in some areas such as sticking a needle into one of my veins to put me on drips and to draw blood that was a horrible and painful experience as she did it twice and did not do it right. Thankfully the doctor/ward gynecologist came in and got it on the third try.

As if my day wasn’t going bad enough I felt like a Lab rat,’

I also had to do more scans,more vaginal ones by a male radiologists by this time I might have just made a child,everything was seen and I didn’t have much of a choice since getting better was the ultimate goal.

I was brought into a back room where the doctor and nurses sat me down to report their findings, my mind raced as I tried calming my nerves and not think of anything negative.

They told me I had a ruptured ovarian cysts and that I’m going to be monitored if the pain worsens I am going to have to operate.I was then admitted into a ward on a wheelchair and was going to spend the night,waw I’m in shock, my very first time being admitted.

Life really comes at you unexpectedly and we really do not know what lies ahead. My family,friends,fiance rallied around me with unwavering support and prayers and assured me that it was going to be ok. I took my last painkiller about minutes to 12pm and it was after 5pm and thankfully I felt no pain.

My family and fiance eventually left to head home and I was left alone alongside two other ladies with my drips hanging beside me.I was not allowed to eat until I was given the clear that I would not operate. I did not sleep that night,the lights were bright,the room was cold and nurses kept checking your vitals every two hours. About after 12am I felt a few jabs of pain in my abdominal but thankfully it did not last.

The morning came swiftly and thankfully I felt no pain,the nurses came in checked my vitals and it was good.I waited on the gynecologists to check me so they could decide if I was being released or still operating. About three gynecologist came , asked if I was in pain,checked my abdominal area,I felt no pain. The lady doctor with them told me that the cyst that ruptured caused pelvic inflammation so they were going to release me and place me on some antibiotics.

FINALLY, I COULD GO HOME, I was elated at the fact that I was going to be sent home after two days of ordeal,after feeling so helpless I got a relief and reminder that prayer still works, and that God is still the ultimate healer!

In closing I would like to encourage all my female readers to take a more active role towards their health ,do their pap smears and regular gynecologist checkups,don’t wait till you have immense pain like I did to take action,DO IT NOW!

Written by

L.G