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The Facade

Pretty face,cosmetics, lace,blue eye shadows,forming shadows,hiding lies,bitterness and spite,

Who was she? Who had she become?

With her innocence now gone. She had lost her identity,where would this type of woman fit in this cold world,what was her life depleting?

Her standards were crushed,while chasing love in a rush she had no time to pray or the right words to say.

She felt like a raged doll filled with hay,no real feelings,none that really mattered.

She was existing and not living the life God wanted her to,

She had become someone else and time was running out as her mask began to crack.

Written by

Laurna Guiste

Uncategorized

Thoughts of a blogger on a overcast Sunday afternoon..

It’s a lazy Sunday and it has been hot all week,today however it’s a bit overcast and I’m just laying in bed. The local radio station plays in the back ground,as my dad snores in the hammock,waving off mosquitoes. The Caribbean weather is so unpredictable and moody,it’s like mother nature is on her period.Hot and sunny one second scattered showers the next.

I’m laying here thinking if what bikini I’ll get for the Summer and the beaches and rivers I’d like to visit. Have you ever made plans and when the time comes for them to be executed you change your mind. Why do we humans do that tho,I love making plans,I’m always writing goals down.

I would like to believe I execute mostly all of them,but what about those I don’t. What about those big, life changing goals,the ones that would financially advance us why do we sometimes put them off?

I guess feelings change,we lose people who could have helped us,we don’t have the money and so many reasons why we didn’t become that astronaut.

I bet in years to come we’re gonna wish we did take that trip to the moon or just that trip around the corner to meet that new neighbor.

I challenge us,me included to stop putting things off out of fear,out of fear of leaving our comfort zones,let’s try at least to burst through the box of comfort and live a lil more.

Hope you’re enjoying your weekend #caribbean blogger#girlswhoblog

Written by

Laurna Guiste

Uncategorized

Mom,kudos to you,I love you and I always will.(Rip)

So,I’m here sitting at church with all these accolades being given to moms and I can’t help but miss my mom. It’s been six years since my mom’s passing and it feels like yesterday. I lost my mom to cancer and just thinking about those last days,moments in the hospital is heart wrenching.

I’d never been to a hospital,or sat at the wards before,and just sitting by her bed side holding her frail hands with all the tubes in them,you just feel so helpless. The worst part about seeing someone you love sick is the feeling that you can’t do anything to ease their pain. Those were one of the worst moments of my life and the only way I could deal was numb my feelings. That was way worst since I spent lots of time crying out the tears I’d kept back for so long. Every memory with her was so precious,I’m the last so you know I was spoilt and she was my go to person.

My mom and I would stay up late watching my favorite movies and she made jokes just to make me laugh,she said she loved my laugh and she also loved movies. Her favorite singers were Elvis Presley and Jim Reeves,her actors were Shawn Cornrey and Charles Brunson I believe she had an eye for classical studs lol. My mom had the kindest heart,always giving,sharing never encouraged gossip. I believe I’m like her in many ways,a devoted and loving wife and mother.

My mom was my human sized teddy bear,was always there to give me a hug and kiss when I needed it and when I needed to hear those three words free from lies and lust but full of truth,warmth,unconditional she was that person. No love can compare to that of a mother’s, none can replace it.

I end encouraging you to love your mother,your queen because she loves you in her own way and form. Appreciate her,hug and tell her how much you love her she needs to know it and feel it.

So If I’m not too late,Happy Mother’s day to all you mother’s in bloggerland.

Written by

Laurna Guiste

Uncategorized

Smile more,worry less…

Never leave with regrets since we got one life to live,and we just don’t know when it will be our last day on this earth. The longer I dwell on this planet the more I realize we experience loss,especially loss of a love one and that is one of the deepest pain I’ve felt. The worst part is there is no remedy for the loss of a love one except the old phrase,time heals all wounds but does it.

No level of detachment can prepare you for the stings of death. You just have to ask God to give you the strength and peace to make it through. So until you catch your last breath, celebrate those around you and live with a purpose. Stop worrying,as it solves nothing,stop frowning as tension and stress increases disease.

May we live to follow purpose,mission,destiny and reach out to those who act like they don’t need it. Let’s live with no regrets and love deeply.

Written by Laurna Guiste

Uncategorized

A teary weekend and a dose of mercy.

How was your weekend? I hope it was better than mine,for mine was a mess of tears,wrapped in self pity,but at least it ended well.

My best friend and I had a pretty heated argument and we swore we were gonna throw away years of a good friend ship just because we couldn’t see eye to eye Sunday morning.

It started with me not being able to sleep the night before,lying wide awake,questioning my existence and if I’m doing my fair share of what God called me to do. I believe self examination is very important, seeing where you are and where you should be or can do to get there. So it was a restless night,and the next morning my friend and I exchanged our usual morning greetings and during our usual talk we speak of out rest and dreams which we share. So I mentioned my self examination episode and yes she wanted to encourage me but she used some words that didn’t sit well with me. I’ve noticed that I do rather get angry quickly shameful I know,and it’s something I need to fix. Anyways the argument began with both of us getting defensive and from the looks of it we were both where we didn’t wana be and it hurt. So the talk challenged us and instead of fighting the problem we thought each other.

Long argument short she spent the Sunday night and half of yesterday not speaking to me,and I couldn’t stop crying over what a mess we’d made out of a simple topic. At one point I was convinced I could leave without this friend,this hurt was to painful to forget. The more I dwelt on it,the more I missed her,then she messaged me saying she forgave me and I angrily said I forgave her,but the pain Still lingered and I still wanted to hurt her,hence I hadn’t really forgave her.

It’s so easy to say we forgive someone but God always tests us to see if we did,and if we really got His love in our hearts. My friend hurt me so dearly and I hurt her too,but here she was saying she forgave me,well it took some more crying and lots of prayer for peace,strength and courage to let it go. I had to come at peace with myself, and forgive her for me not even her. I had to fish out the good from the bad,and today we spoke rather pleasantly.

God has taught me these lessons over and over,the lesson of forgiveness and repentance. How hurt He feels when we willfully sin,mess up and come back to Him to wipe our slates clean.

Our sin hurts God deeply,and I believe so much that He cries,cause He loves us so much.

I felt the heart of God amidst my pain and it helped me to realize how unworthy yet how loved we are as Believers.

My encouragement to you today is if you’re hurting please bring that hurt to God and allow Him to heal you,to give you peace and courage to deal. If you’ve fallen run to God,and know His mercy are everlasting and He is forgiving. Lastly know our sin hurts God a lot and He loves us more than we can ever imagine. Be encouraged that He cares and He loves you.

Written by

Laurna Guiste

adventure, bloglife, exploring, hikes, Uncategorized

Beyond the Fence

Today I went on a little adventure, decided to take a stroll up the road behind my friend’s house and disappear into the forest.

 

The road before the forest was quite busy with the constant passing of vehicles with various persons peering out the windows as I walked on, staring at a girl who properly looked like a lost tourist, and though I felt nervous with the constant peering of eyes  my desire for an adventure kept me going. The sky was clear and blue, and I could hear the nearby flowing of streams.  The trees stood tall, wide and green as birds sang their praises. I thanked God for these awesome surroundings of nature at its best, I soon came near the estate of a Rasta man that’s known to be vicious. Walking closer I recalled always admiring this house   many years ago while I rode the bus to and from town before my family and I relocated. I would admire how it looked old, and worn out but somehow I felt it had history as it resembled an old maser dwelling.

I stood on the road staring at the house in the distance, heard the owner only uses solar energy and lived all alone and enjoyed   wading off any trespassers. I could see the dirt path aligned with dry leaves, some ruins of another building, birds chirping loudly and I even noticed a bridge leading to the house, all things that beckoned me to come closer.  I didn’t know the man and God knows what he could do to me if I dare neared his property.

I decided to ignore my wild curiosity and the better me decided to keep on walking as there was also a trail a little higher that I wanted to explore. This was a trail I also admired while I would transit down these roads and to finally explore it was a dream come true.

The dry leaves were piled along the man made path that lead into the dense of the forest, mango and coconut trees stretching towards a blue sky, creating a natural canopy. Though the forest got darker with every step I took I became lost in my surroundings. Branches and wild flowers reaching out to me, I pulled out my phone and right there I was filled of dread as I wished I had my canon. But I took pictures regardless ,took snaps of ferns, leaves, various plants all along the trail was most decorated with nature’s splendor. Soon enough my exploring was cut short by this huge fenced gate, confined by a silver lock.  I couldn’t believe my exploring was brought to a halt when I felt I was just getting started, beyond the gate I saw a wooden shed battered by rain I could see the rust forming on the galvanize and noticed a water catchment that was surrounded by  the most beautiful flowers I’d ever seen. My excitement grew and I knew this was a no trespass zone but I couldn’t ignore my curious impulses. What was in that shed, who placed it there? Was it the owner of the wooden house I’d just pass, was he hiding something. My investigative skills peeked up a notch and I decided to climb over the gate.

gate

The task was most difficult and I wasn’t as light and fit as I would hope, I kept looking over my shoulders and tripping. I got several arm and leg scratches as I made my landing on the other side. I of course  landed on my butt and I quickly stood brushing some dirt off my hands and looked nervously around as if someone was watching.  Being now confined within the gate made my heart race rather quickly or was it due to my total lack of exercise. Turning around made me shake  some more as I stood inches awy from the shed I took out my camera from my back pack and took photos of the outside of the shed, the flowers,oh wow those water lilies were spectacular, I stooped and held one in my hand when I heard a clicking sound.

I turned around quickly and saw this black, middle aged rasta man looking at me sternly on the outside of the gate .I gulped as I stood slowly “Good afternoon” I said with my voice cracking and my throat hurting with fear. He didn’t answer, he looked at me from head to toe,”Y’all don’t respect people’s property eh? What are you doing in there?”

“I, I wanted to take pictures of the flowers and”

“Get the hell out of there! Now! ” he said piercingly I quickly headed towards the gate.

He took his keys out and opened the gate” I shook in fear I was all alone on this strangers land God knows what he could do to me I was scared for my life “and never come here again you hear me” he huffed as I passed near him and stepped out. “Yes Sir “ I replied and hurried away, I run as fast as my feet could carry me ,I could hear me shouting at me in the distance but I was too far gone, thanking God with very leap I took and also asking Him to protect me, never looking back. My rebellious and curiosity almost cost me my life that day, and I don’t know why he didn’t harm me when he had the chance to, I was just so glad that he didn’t.

I luckily made it back to my friend’s house where I found her asleep I just sat there with my heart pounding and staring blankly at her. I could be screaming for help and she wouldn’t have heard me, she could have lost her friend today as she slept on in slumber. I sighed as I sat back in a chair and thanked God I was alive with sweat running down my face and back. That look on his face though, looked pure murderous and that shed was obviously his and what on earth was he hiding there.

Written by

Laurna Guiste

 

 

 

Uncategorized

You’re a big deal

May we be who we always desired.

I’m here to remind you that you’re special, beautiful,blessed. The very fact that you’re here,alive is to furfill purpose. There is only one you and no one is cut out for what you’re destined to do.

Never underestimate yourself, you’re a big deal,and you’re not a mistake. Remind yourself everyday you’re worth it and your circumstances does not define you,God does!

Written by

Laurna Guiste

Uncategorized

Thoughts of a writer

As much as u may be admired for ur fashion brands and designer clothes it’s not what makes you remembered all after you’re gone,but it’s the very essence of you that makes you a lasting memory.
Your attitude, personality, the music you played,the movies you enjoyed,the jokes you laughed or made,the way people felt around you or after they left your presence is what truly reflects you.

Your perfume scent wont leave trails of nostalgia as much as that book you told someone about,or that song you laughed hard at, the things you enjoyed doing,the spark you brought to others darkness is what left to be missed,when you’re no more.
Bottom line is who we are on the inside is the true beauty we all miss when our outside decays and turn back to ashes.
Thoughts of a writer
Laurna Guiste

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Tonight

Tonight, somewhere a couple is having an argument, and he is left with the choice whether to go or stay.

Tonight a couple is being intertwined in lace of passion and mutual love.They look no further.

Tonight a wife is tucking her kids to bed as their father works hard to make ends meet.

Tonight a girl is laughing out loud with her silly friends and to her life is perfect.

Tonight,somewhere, something crawls and lurks at the innocent, waiting for a chance.

Tonight,God protects and defense His children, as they pray.

Tonight,I dream of you,and us.

Written by

Laurna Guiste