bloglife, Writers Space

When nothing seems to be working

Hi Guys,

Laurna here,i know its been a while since I’ve been on WordPress,months to be exact and just trying to get on has been a little frustrating  to say the least as I couldn’t remember my password. I mean geez! I know embarrassing but blame it on living in a technological obsessed world,using more than 10 passwords and login information just to do my everyday work things can get confusing and passwords do get  mixed up or maybe I’m just getting old.

Anyways it feels so good to be back,and lately I have been living my best life,lol well if putting on a few pounds whist eating the most amazing meals indicates a happy life well I’ve been living my friends. Well like everything it comes with a price and a big butt,larger hips and growing tummy and cheeks are what are to pay for it.  I have been trying to diet and in the past I have succeeded at these get slim quick things,I have loved exercising and have gotten the time to. But lately its just not happening for me,I mean my discipline is not what it used to be and I lack consistency. So what used to work before I am having difficulty keeping up with it now. My taste buds have been wrestling with me like a kid with a tantrum who spits out the tasteless peas .

I have a few things working against me,for one my hours of work has changed I usually wake late and come  home in the evenings too tired to do any form of exercising. Secondly I am always tired,too tired to prepare these fancy healthy lunches and I am just too tired. But when you look at it closely they are nothing but excuses,and when it comes to being healthy there is no amount of price that is too big to pay.

So,if I want definite results I have to really push myself,get out of my comfort zone and make the necessary adjustments. I am self motivated hence why these positive affirmations of what needs to be done but it is not easy. I started  the  all Oats diet and couldn’t go through with its tastelessness ,been trying to return to the Atkins diet or at least try the Keto and its just not happening. Vegetables has been expensive and eating out has become the norm,but at the end of it my nice clothes are no longer fitting,I get breathless quickly and my face don’t look as cute. So losing weight is a must for me!

It feels like nothing is working when really I have not been as consistent and determined as I should be. I need to want this, I need to organize a plan that best fits my schedule and stick to it. I am currently on a bet with my best friend to lose 40lbs by January,it is attainable and I can do it,but it is going to take a lot of work and me pushing myself.

So bloggers that’s one of my latest challenges  and maybe today you too a struggling with attaining something could also be with weight loss,maybe its with a job,a relationship a specific goal whatever it is, it may not always come easy. But do know that nothing good comes easy and good things come to those who not only pray but work for it. Your hard work will one day pay off,and you will be so much prouder of yourself because you know you deserve every ounce of it and you did it, no one else but you and God. So do join me if you dare to lunch forward with determination,perseverance and a no quit attitude till you see results.

From your blogger friend

Laurna Guiste

bloglife, women, Writers Space

Chronicles of a Woman’s mind

Women hold grudges,years pass by and we hold unto it closer than we hug our best friends..

She hated work ,Alice felt like she was being haunted by all her past lovers as  she wore insecurity as a daily garment,worn in rag like attire,not pretty at all,rather uncomfortable. She often felt embarrassed that others could see its dirty edges beneath her formal wear  and most likely they did.

Alice had many boyfriends or guys she got close to,flirted with foreplay  which ended before she even knew she was in a game of being heart broken. She felt prey to many situation ships and it added to her grotesque robe of pity and hatred.

Alice couldn’t bear seeing her exes lovers or girlfriends as she often compared her self to them living her incomplete and unhappy. Life seemed to be cruel to Alice as she began seeing them more often.

She felt life was unfair as they seemed to be on every road she strutted  upon,at every corner,she felt the envy at every meeting,the long,hard stares,the awkward silence,the gazes,she felt they knew her stories because she was stupid enough to share them with him.

Alice was like many women creating her own monsters in her head,fighting her existence,trying to prove herself to her allies that she too was worthy. Jealousy choked her like a heavy bead necklace she couldn’t dare rest at the dressing table before bed at night.

She compared her curves,her eyes,her hands,lips to hers,her reflection in the mirror was never kind as she thought he’d always prefer hers.

Alice was living a lie,sealed in a shell of self deception as she held unto something that was no longer in her grip. She had to fight off the demon of her insecurity and be grounded in who she is and love that person fiercely.

Alice owed it to herself to let go, move on,be strong and be free from comparisons and be and LOVE her individual self as God would desire her too.

Chronicles of a Woman’s Mind..

Written by Laurna Guiste




poetry, Poetry Corner, women, Writers Space

Happy International Women’s Day

Strong Women,may we know them,may we raise them may we be them..

Untapped Reservoir,so lays the depth of the talent of women,

Unappreciated are the detailed work that we conceive, yet like the certainty of the sun of each new day,we rise,we love,we bear,

Like a tree,planted,our roots have gotten stronger with time as we learn the lessons of the season,

We are beautiful,understated is our strength and wisdom.

We are often overlooked,underpaid,placed on pedestals,failing to make the cut,

Yet we keep blooming,glowing we keep growing,

Forced to wear the pants,

Getting dirty and working hard,becoming our own bosses

Designing our tresses,despite the stresses of being told we’re not lovely or smart enough,

We’ve become tough,we’ve studied the books and we’re coming out.

raising to the tops,

We’re women,man with a womb,not intended to be mocked or ridiculed, or treated less than,

So here we are,doing what we need to do, cause no one aint got us like we got us boo.

So cheers to all women,red, yellow and green,tall,short and in between,

Raise your glass,take a bow,you’re a queen

Written by

Laurna Guiste

bloglife, Writers Space

It’s Friday..

It’s Friday and I’m leaving the office,stepping over the noises of the familiar voices I’ve been hearing all week. My bag is heavy on my side,it holds  my lap top and my makeup i have my lunch bag in my hand,I sigh it’s been a long week,but a good one.

I’ts a carnival weekend,a festive one,a season where women get excused for dressing up and parading the streets with next to nothing on. A weekend of anticipated drunkenness and reveling the streets. But I’m stepping out just thankful it’s another TGIF,a phrase that’s being trended all over the world today and yes I’m thankful.

Before I could get hold of the door,he stops me,or I stop him,he says he hates me for always leaving without saying good bye,I smile and turn to face him and tapping him on the shoulder “Oh I forgot to tell you,be safe this weekend,don’t drink and drive”

“Again” he corrects me

“Again”now a crowd is forming,more of my co workers are leaving.His eyes never leaves me,I smile”Good bye Sam”

I make my way towards Cat Cafe on King George the fifth Street,this small, rustic restaurant that sells crepes and coffee. I know the owner,she’s french,I actually liked to work there. Now it’s just where I hang occasionally,I order the Cat Cafe,the coffee with the white frosting on top,sprinkled with cinnamon. I breathe in deeply,

Thank God it’s Friday..

Written by

Laurna Guiste


blog,reviews, Writers Space

Saturday Runnings

Today I felt rather famish and visited the fast food place on my way to the store, to find out the door was closed, I was rather disappointed, it was almost 9:30am and the doors were still closed? I couldn’t believe it; however I quickly walked away before passing pedestrians noticed me forcing to open an obviously shut door. I backed away slowly, and flew up the flight of steps where two men sat before being shooed off by passing officers.
My stomach growled and as I cashed my necessities I asked the cashier what time the junk store opened she told me she wasn’t sure. On my way back I checked again and luckily or rather unluckily it was opened this time , went in and ordered my two piece combo, original and mountain dew coated with friendly customer service. After I sipped my drink I stepped out and was blasted my pulsating rhythms taking over the town bringing my attention to the local market at the other side of the road. I decided to cross the busy street beneath the scorching sun with sweat slithering down my face as I pulled out my camera.



Playing tourist, I began snapping photos of buyers purchasing their oranges, carrots, bananas and fruits, surrounded by madras drapery, amplified by local folklore music I felt the festive activities amplified, the vibe pulled me in as I wanted to be part of the action.
Engulfed by local produce and voices of my native tongue, the Creole season was taking off with lively spirits, giving me a sense of urgency for the week ahead.
Written by
Laurna Guiste

Family, Writers Space

Farewell Brother.

Please play video as you read,was one of his favorite songs.

After a while the pain and I became as one,walking through crevices that were sometimes roads,sigh my brother would have expressed the events of Erica so much better than i ever could,such a great writer and sweet old soul..sigh as i sit here reminiscing of his great influence over my life.

The effects of Erica would have been a easier pill to swallow if you were still around to talk it over with,you were one to remain calm and optimistic even in the face of danger.You were known for being funny,down to earth,someone who was always willing to listen and you were very understanding.

Now with you gone,it just makes it a little more difficult to breathe, but i know with time I will catch my breath,and live and enjoy every moment,i know  you would cheer me on to smile and not cry. It is a hard thing to accept,but God gives and he takes away,and i know it is not goodbye but it is farewell for just a little while.

I see why you encouraged me to write,because you knew i would carry on the legacy and write,hoping one day to be as great as you. I’m proud to have been related to such a great talent and beautiful soul.Rest in perfect peace my beloved brother David Guiste.

Written by

Laurna Guiste

christain, inspirational, Writers Space

Importance of Self Love

Self love is important in setting the stage for all chapters of your life, such as your relationships, friendships, career and personal growth. The level in which you love yourself will determine how you allow others to treat you and how you treat yourself. It is important to truly love yourself in order for you to be able to love others and most importantly to love God.

Loving yourself means you have accepted yourself just the way God made you, whether short,tall,light skin or dark skin you have accepted your outer beauty as well as your inner beauty. You have recognized your strengths and weaknesses and you have capitalized on your strengths and are working on your weaknesses.

For example you’re good at singing; you don’t join the dance group if  you know you’re not good at dancing, you sharpen your singing skills, and you take singing classes, you learn an instrument you capitalize on it, and yes you can take dance classes if you love dancing but perfecting that which you are already good at will make you  better if not the greatest in your field, and that’s why loving your self is the first step in becoming your greatest self, as you love yourself you work on bettering yourself.

Written by

Laurna Guiste

The Greater You movement,a movement aimed at inspiring both women and men alike, to accept and love themselves. Also, encouraging persons to tap into their greatness and becoming who God has called them to be.

Writers Space

A champion’s cry

I wanted to be used by God but i didn’t realize how much i was still caged by my own selfish desires. Christ i said was my everything i quoted the Scriptures and encouraged others to lay their burdens at God’s feet and let God carry their baggage’s ,it was as though i spoke to everyone but myself as i took on my own to wrestle these demons. i couldn’t win this battle,i felt prey over and over and over again and overtime i thought the fight was won,my opponents would hit me with a secret blow. I honestly feel defeated in this race,as many of my brethren expected me to have been closer to the finish line or at least won a gold medal by now i mean i had the talks of a champion but where were my trophies to show for it.

Truth is i had been in this race long enough to fake it, i learnt the songs,testimonies,bible verses  long enough to look like i was making it,but honestly i was struggling,i was fluctuating in my walk and I had no one to blame but myself.I must admit i have had some victories,won some fights,given my opponents some serious punches and marks but i forgot that this enemy wasn’t defeated my just me, i had God fighting for me and i forgot that this enemy never gives up,so the times he got me were the times i let my guard down,i compromised and i didn’t stay beneath God’s protection.

I have failed miserably, and i realize i cant continue like this as many people are looking up to me to win this battle, i cant quit because i owe myself this championship,i wont let the enemy win because God has been to good to me to let that happen.Christ didn’t save me to barely make it to heaven,he saved me because He loves me and has a purpose for i stand amidst my pain and struggles,i stand amidst my trials and mistakes and i look to God to heal my wounds and make me whole.

I am going to make it, i am going to take the necessary steps,discipline,training to get in this match and fight,it is not going to be easy,it is going to be painful,but no pain no gain. So help me God I am going to FIGHT this good fight of faith with God as my coach and number one fan.

Written by

Laurna Guiste

Writers Space

Salvation is what? FREE

Salvation is what? FREE

Way to salvation

It is not God’s will that any man should but all should come into repentance.

Romans 10:9 & 10 if you confess with your mouth (confession) the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart ( belief) that God raised Him from the dead you will be saved.

Mark 16:16 you must believe and be baptized to be saved. Acts 16: 30 & 31

Salvation comes by God’s grace Titus 2:11-12

The way to God / salvation is narrow (Matthew 7:13-14)

We can be saved no other way Acts 4:12

Call on the name of the Lord and you shall be saved Acts 2:21

It’s God’s will that all men repent 2nd Peter 3:9

Who will inherit God’s kingdom 1st Corinthians 6:9-10

All things are possible with God Luke 18:27

Christ died for us sinners Romans 5:7& 8

Christ came to seek those that were lost Luke 19:10

Christ will appear unto those who look for Him Hebrews 9:28

Romans 5: 10 we shall be saved by Christ life.

I have accepted Jesus as my Lord and personal Savior for more than ten years now and I will be honest it hasn’t been easy but it is definitely been worth it. God is faithful and has kept me through every hardship and trial I have faced. I came from a Christ believing home and it was easy for me to step into the Christian faith since I was known as a goodie-goodie two shoe but I was a sinner nonetheless and I still failed God after I accepted Him into my life, I messed up deeply at times but would always feel guilty and beg for God’s forgiveness, and He is a faithful God who will forgive you, so He forgives me.

My whole life is based on God’s mercy, love and provision, when I was younger I almost died twice, I was almost electrocuted and secondly I rolled down a valley that was supposed to kill me, but see God protected  me for His purpose. I had this shy, quiet and timid personality, I never stood up for my right and  I allowed people to walk all over me. I suffered with low self esteem for years, was sexually molested as a kid, so I always kept to myself, too afraid to share my thoughts on anything. Because of my quiet and shy personality people bullied me and called me stupid long enough I started to believe them. I struggled for the first three months of my high school years trying to fit in and find myself, I didn’t do what the other girls did, my dad was super strict and didn’t allow me to go anywhere, so I had no real friends. During those hard years I surrendered my life to Jesus and I slowly I started to make some friends and I blossomed into an attractive young woman so guys became attracted to me but because of my strict upbringing I never dated while in high school. My grades still suffered though since I still experienced f low self esteem and didn’t have the motivation to do anything I was too afraid to try anything.

My grades were miserable and they didn’t change till my brother gave me a good old whooping to straighten me out and had a long talk with me about the importance of an education. I believe the subject I always passed was English, since I always loved writing and creating characters and situations I guess it was my escape from the cruel world I lived in. My grades significantly improved and I got deeper into my relationship with God, I became an active member of my church youth group where I got exposed to speaking in front a crowd the youth leader had no idea how much he helped me conquer my fears. My participation in speaking in front a crowd increased as I began ministering and I got comfortable speaking into the lives of people. I read the word more and through many pastors and the word I began to see how much God loves me and began to accept myself gradually. I became bolder and was encouraged to be my best, because God loved me just how I am, flaws and all.

As my college years went by I did pull away from God as I wanted to experiment and I did fail miserably at that because God wouldn’t allow me to do anything sinful without me feeling guilty about it, I found myself back to God and I took a back seat because I didn’t feel good enough to be used in ministry for God, I became stagnant for years and lacked motivation to be all God called me to be. During that time I went from relationship to relationship trying to feel the void that was in my heart, I wanted to feel loved so bad that I fell for anything that looked like it. I lacked self worth and value and God taught me some hard lessons so I could come back to him. My experiences inspired my first book called The Greater You, people have no idea all what I have been through all the hurts, mistakes, heart breaks, disappointments but I still held unto God and He has kept me in the midst of it all.

During all that I have been through God has always provided, protected, forgiven and helped me, He doesn’t look at you the way man does, He sees our hearts and if we desire to please Him He will show up and help us because He truly loves us. That is not all my story I maybe will write a book about it one day, but I do want to encourage you to surrender your life to Jesus and give Him a chance to love you pass your pain and regrets.

Written by

Laurna Guiste

christain, Writers Space

All or nothing

All or nothing

I sat near the window pane, when the much needed breeze kissed across my face and I closed my eyes as my heart ached. I wished he had joined me for lunch but he was long gone now with nothing but a memory. I read and re-read the text messages he sent me a few hours ago stating all the reasons why we shouldn’t be together, and I digested every word and syllable causing my muscles to feel sore and my spirit heavy. In the heat of the moment I replied with such anger and hurt telling him that I didn’t want him either and how we were better off with other lovers. I knew I was piercing my own heart but what else could I say, I had always played victim in my past relationships begging for a man to stay with me feeling far  worst when he still left, so this time I decided I would be strong or at least pretend to be. God knew I felt my weakest, blaming myself for things not working out; after all this was my fourth lover.

Darnel was his name, tall, dark and handsome with a six pack that made me shiver whenever I thought about it. A few days ago we made love and I guess he already knew it was our last time because he made me climax all over the bedroom walls, floor and bathroom. He was a deacon at his church, the youngest actually 26 years old, was the most charming and  had women at the church always trying to get with him but none were successful. He prided himself on being a “godly, strong man” who exercised self control but all that talk were babbles when it came to me. My name is Charlene Jones, Chief Executive Manager at Excites Boutique, a 5’7, fair skinned beauty who’s an active member and PRO of the church’s Women Ministry. I knew our secret lifestyles were not pleasing to God but publicly we were the ideal christains, prayed, fasted danced, shout about and even spoke in tongues. We were both saved and wanted to honestly live a holy and pleasing life before God but like everyone else we had our weaknesses.

Darnel and I were acquaintances for a long time and he never showed no interest in me since I always went from relationship to relationship, he was my type but I always thought he was way too serious and always assumed he had a girlfriend.  It happened at one of our Sunday evening services that  he volunteered to drive me home since my car battery died, it was an interesting drive  filled with compliments and he finally conveyed his interest in me. I was flattered but my guard was still up from my past relationship so I refused to give him my number. He didn’t give up, every Sunday after service he met up with me to talk about the word and other spiritual topics, I was impressed and slowly my guard started coming down, so I gave him my number one afternoon. He acted like the happiest guy alive and he called me every night to talk about how my day was, my goals dreams and what my ideas and thoughts of marriage were. We got to know each other so deeply, he made it easy to open up and tell him deep details about myself, and the more we spoke about our expectations in marriage the more I pictured him as my husband. We were close for about three months and we had never gone out on a date, every time I brought it up he told me he was busy but we spoke every night so our connection still grew. When the fifth month came I started to feel we should make it official since I felt like I was his girlfriend, we spoke about everything referred to each other as “us” and “we” and we spoke of our future together and we always hung out after church but no one saw us as a couple just good friends but it felt like so much more to me.  So after bugging him so much about it he decided that we should go on a weekend camping trip together, knowing that I adore the outdoors and always wanted to go on a road trip I literally jumped on him at the idea. I packed my bag and we left the Saturday afternoon to the next town it was a 9 hour drive filled with laughter, fun, excitement, snacks and we had our first kiss.

We stopped at a viewing point facing the ocean and the sun was setting leaning against the car’s boot and he just unexpectingly captured my half open lips. It was such a magical moment since I liked him so much I felt tingly all over and I kissed him back with much passion and before long we were devouring each other’s mouth. We kissed every time after that, he said he liked my lips and my lips liked his and they were always joining. That night we slept at a cheap hotel on separate beds and I knew he wanted to make love but at that time I was terrified of getting pregnant and God wouldn’t be pleased I said, at that moment I was satisfied with just a deep kiss. He agreed to the same thing and so we didn’t have sex, the rest of the trip went by so fast. We were soon back home and before we said our good byes he kissed me and told me he loved me I smiled and told him I loved him too. It was six months and our talks over the phone continued this time it was filled with dirty talks,sexting,nude pictures  and ended with I love you’s, I felt  so in love and since we still spoke about one day getting married I let all my guard down and started masturbating while talking to him. Our talks about the word, praying and fasting ceased and more and more we lusted after each other. There were moments I would try to tell him we were doing something wrong but he told me if I wanted to be his girlfriend I would give all myself to him. I didn’t want to lose his love so I gave in.

He convinced me for hanging out at his home one afternoon, I would bring pop corn and we would watch Netflix, perfect time to cuddle I thought since we hadn’t hang since the trip. So I went over and we sat on the couch and watched about two movies when we started making out, everything in me wanted  to make love since we spoke about it every night ,I had seen pictures of his naked body and wanted to see it in person. He didn’t hesitate to strip me naked and did everything to me he spoke of over the phone, we were in love and nothing didn’t stop us from pleasuring each other, it was amazing. Afterwards we cuddled and it felt great, I didn’t feel guilty because he loved me and I was his girlfriend God would understand.

He made our relationship official the next day and every girl at church was shocked and many were envious, they wondered how I managed to get Darnel to commit since he was known for being picky I just shrugged and told them God had His way.

For the next couple of months I felt like wonder woman, dating the hottest guy at church, being the number one Boutique in the area and rumors were spreading that Darnel was planning to propose. We had been together for almost a year and I couldn’t picture being with anyone else.  We spoke of having children and Darnel often teased me of how I’d look once pregnant. Life was amazing; God had been good to me, though Darnel and I continued to have sex regularly, and many of the church’s members wanted to know if we did but we reminded them it weren’t their business.

We planned to move in together but the pastor was against it, stating he didn’t want any of his deacons shacking up, Darnel was upset but he didn’t want to go up against the pastor, so he started sneaking into my apartment on weekends. Those were wonderful moments but our relationship stated to feel grimy and based on nothing substantial. Moreover the people at the church started to observe changes in our behavior, and our ministries started to suffer because of our double life style.  I had myself convinced  that Darnel’s and I  love could pull through anything and as soon as we got married we would move out of that small town and pursue ministry in a better church. A few weeks went by and I didn’t hear from Darnel as much, he became super busy and I got convinced that he was seeing someone else, he told me he wasn’t but I just couldn’t make sense of his distance. Church folks started accusing us of fornicating and went as far as saying I was pregnant and Darnel didn’t want the child. I heard snickers and whispers whenever we spoke at the podium, no one seemed interested in what we had to say, some called us hypocrites and one sister told me to live the women group and being so upset that day I did and I never went back to that church.

Darnel came over one night and met me crying curled up in bed, he asked me what was wrong and I told him what happened, in the end he told me he had been feeling low and how he felt like God had given up on him, he said we should fix our lives, but I told him I loved him and we were not doing anything wrong, one thing led to another and we made love. The next morning when I rose he was gone; I tried calling and texting him but no answer. I was confused more than ever and I felt like I was going crazy if Darnel had left me, days went by and this morning he sent me the lengthy text.

I began to feel lower than dirt when I realized that I had given up my body to a man who didn’t love me but  used me to satisfy his lust, I felt betrayed, manipulated and to make it worst I felt like I deserved it, I felt like God was punishing me for disobeying His word. I was heartbroken, alone and depressed how was I to come out of this position when I had no one to turn to.

Written by

Laurna Guiste

This story or one similar is one of many women, women who have suffered hurt due to sleeping with a man who didn’t love them, wasn’t married or committed to them. It is a painful tale but a mistake made too often without thinking of the consequences. I’m not going to state details about how to love any man except how to love one man so deeply that we don’t fall into similar traps and that man is Jesus. Charlene could have saved herself the heart ache and depression if she had firstly honored God in her relationship and her body. Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Ghost and we are bought with a price, therefore we should glorify God in our bodies and in our spirit which are God’s, failure to do so will have consequences. However no man is perfect and we do err, God is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. When we feel alone and there is no one to turn to, God is indeed there and waiting to listen to our heart content and to heal us from our hurts. God loves us even when we don’t love or want Him.