How was your weekend? I hope it was better than mine,for mine was a mess of tears,wrapped in self pity,but at least it ended well.
My best friend and I had a pretty heated argument and we swore we were gonna throw away years of a good friend ship just because we couldn’t see eye to eye Sunday morning.
It started with me not being able to sleep the night before,lying wide awake,questioning my existence and if I’m doing my fair share of what God called me to do. I believe self examination is very important, seeing where you are and where you should be or can do to get there. So it was a restless night,and the next morning my friend and I exchanged our usual morning greetings and during our usual talk we speak of out rest and dreams which we share. So I mentioned my self examination episode and yes she wanted to encourage me but she used some words that didn’t sit well with me. I’ve noticed that I do rather get angry quickly shameful I know,and it’s something I need to fix. Anyways the argument began with both of us getting defensive and from the looks of it we were both where we didn’t wana be and it hurt. So the talk challenged us and instead of fighting the problem we thought each other.
Long argument short she spent the Sunday night and half of yesterday not speaking to me,and I couldn’t stop crying over what a mess we’d made out of a simple topic. At one point I was convinced I could leave without this friend,this hurt was to painful to forget. The more I dwelt on it,the more I missed her,then she messaged me saying she forgave me and I angrily said I forgave her,but the pain Still lingered and I still wanted to hurt her,hence I hadn’t really forgave her.
It’s so easy to say we forgive someone but God always tests us to see if we did,and if we really got His love in our hearts. My friend hurt me so dearly and I hurt her too,but here she was saying she forgave me,well it took some more crying and lots of prayer for peace,strength and courage to let it go. I had to come at peace with myself, and forgive her for me not even her. I had to fish out the good from the bad,and today we spoke rather pleasantly.
God has taught me these lessons over and over,the lesson of forgiveness and repentance. How hurt He feels when we willfully sin,mess up and come back to Him to wipe our slates clean.
Our sin hurts God deeply,and I believe so much that He cries,cause He loves us so much.
I felt the heart of God amidst my pain and it helped me to realize how unworthy yet how loved we are as Believers.
My encouragement to you today is if you’re hurting please bring that hurt to God and allow Him to heal you,to give you peace and courage to deal. If you’ve fallen run to God,and know His mercy are everlasting and He is forgiving. Lastly know our sin hurts God a lot and He loves us more than we can ever imagine. Be encouraged that He cares and He loves you.