Sick leave

I’m lying here,looking up at a white ceiling,

My feet are cold beneath this blanket,

Silence

The kids are at school, parents are at work,

I’m lying here

Nothing to do but everything to feel

Funny how when you’re at work you wish you were home,

But now that I’m home I actually miss work, I miss the outdoors, the sun gosh I miss the sun,

Though it’s a complete nuisance and annoyance when I’m up and about but today I miss it

I’m thinking of things to do then again I’m required to rest,

But honestly I’m restless my mind is racing,

I can’t be lazy lying in bed makes me sick

But it’s what the doctors recommend

Oh boi

Help!

Written by

L Guiste

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The rupture

Who was this person standing over me,shaking me by the shoulders. It took me a while to separate dream from reality and decipher the person starring at me,the person shaking me was my father I had fainted.

On November 22nd I experienced the most excruciating pain I had ever felt in the area of my left ovary, my life seemed out of my control and I was at the mercy of my health provider.

I awoke that morning with premenstrual like pains in my lower abdomen and thought little of it as my period was due any day now. I made my way to the downstairs of my home and started preparing my lunch to head to work. I went to use the washroom and I recall the pain intensifying.Before-long I was curled up in a ball on my bed crying like a baby and wanting the pain to stop.I felt nauseous and started throwing up the little breakfast that I had managed to eat and that’s all I recall.

I mustered the strength to see my gynecologist that morning a trip that I never anticipated, me a woman who avoided a pap smear was willing to strip down naked and get a vaginal scan. Pain has a way of overshadowing all our other emotions even that of embarrassment. The procedure was of-course painful and I was told that the pain could be the result of a ruptured ovarian cyst.

A ruptured cyst that bursts open (ruptures) can cause severe pain and bleeding inside the pelvis. The larger the cyst, the greater the risk of rupture.

I was given some pain killers, was told to monitor it and sent home to rest. The meds worked only a few hours, I soon became restless and was in pain again. I called my doctor about 5pm and told him what was happening he informed me that I should continue monitoring and take another pain killer,if not I should go to the hospital to have an emergency surgery done.

I had taken two pain killers within a short span of time and knew I had to go in,I was rushed to the health center and had to explain everything over again by the time I ended speaking the pain killers had kicked in and I had no signs of distress so was asked to go home and monitor yet again. My family was reassuring me that I shouldn’t panic and that I should wait for the painkillers to kick in.

So I went home and felt ok, went to bed but woke up feeling restless and my stomach was upside down. I went to my living room and tried to sit still but I could not,the pain was coming back.I had no doubts that I had to go in,something was definitely wrong.

My sister and I rushed to the ER that Wednesday morning and I was dedicated a nursing student to be with me and this turned out to be bittersweet. Sweet in the sense she stayed with me all through ,assisting me and ensured I get all attention I needed, bitter in the fact she indeed was a student in training and needed guidance in some areas such as sticking a needle into one of my veins to put me on drips and to draw blood that was a horrible and painful experience as she did it twice and did not do it right. Thankfully the doctor/ward gynecologist came in and got it on the third try.

As if my day wasn’t going bad enough I felt like a Lab rat,’

I also had to do more scans,more vaginal ones by a male radiologists by this time I might have just made a child,everything was seen and I didn’t have much of a choice since getting better was the ultimate goal.

I was brought into a back room where the doctor and nurses sat me down to report their findings, my mind raced as I tried calming my nerves and not think of anything negative.

They told me I had a ruptured ovarian cysts and that I’m going to be monitored if the pain worsens I am going to have to operate.I was then admitted into a ward on a wheelchair and was going to spend the night,waw I’m in shock, my very first time being admitted.

Life really comes at you unexpectedly and we really do not know what lies ahead. My family,friends,fiance rallied around me with unwavering support and prayers and assured me that it was going to be ok. I took my last painkiller about minutes to 12pm and it was after 5pm and thankfully I felt no pain.

My family and fiance eventually left to head home and I was left alone alongside two other ladies with my drips hanging beside me.I was not allowed to eat until I was given the clear that I would not operate. I did not sleep that night,the lights were bright,the room was cold and nurses kept checking your vitals every two hours. About after 12am I felt a few jabs of pain in my abdominal but thankfully it did not last.

The morning came swiftly and thankfully I felt no pain,the nurses came in checked my vitals and it was good.I waited on the gynecologists to check me so they could decide if I was being released or still operating. About three gynecologist came , asked if I was in pain,checked my abdominal area,I felt no pain. The lady doctor with them told me that the cyst that ruptured caused pelvic inflammation so they were going to release me and place me on some antibiotics.

FINALLY, I COULD GO HOME, I was elated at the fact that I was going to be sent home after two days of ordeal,after feeling so helpless I got a relief and reminder that prayer still works, and that God is still the ultimate healer!

In closing I would like to encourage all my female readers to take a more active role towards their health ,do their pap smears and regular gynecologist checkups,don’t wait till you have immense pain like I did to take action,DO IT NOW!

Written by

L.G

Disaster Zone

Hey loves,

How are you guys doing? Hope you guys are doing good and that this post meets you in good spirits. It’s been a minute since I’ve written a bloggy blog on here talking about my life and what’s going on. Well I live in the Caribbean for those of who who don’t know,I live in the nature Isle of the Caribbean,Dominica. I would also like to give a huge shout out to my new followers,I really appreciate the follow and to my devoted blog readers who like every post I’ve posted huge Thank you,you’re the real MVP’s!!

Well I’m writing this post and I’m multitasking and watching 5 Volcanoes that could erupt soon,well there is a volcano who has erupted in St Vincent as we speak and it has been scary as it keeps erupting. These people have to flee their homes and make it to a shelter that people are saying has persons with Covid. Now not only are we in a pandemic that doesn’t wanna seem to end,we’re up against nature and whatever it decides to send us. Am I the only one believing that our time is coming shorter and the earth is getting warmer. I can even feel a sudden heat on my back as I write this geeez! This situation really hits home,as I know exactly what these people are going through as I had to evacuate my home a few years ago when a Tropical storm,one who took my brother along with the lives of many others,forced us to leave our community without knowing where we were heading. So I know what loss feels like and the sad part is,you have no control.

Disasters are ever present and they remind us of how vulnerable we all are and one day it’s gonna be the end for us all. I honestly feel the world ending by fire is going to be volcanic fire,or some meteor blasting us up. Anyways this post wasn’t intended to be dark, or to scare you ,but unfortunately this is our reality,life is upside down.

Life has been unprecedented and more and more I’m realizing that life is short and we just don’t know what to expect.

So ,what does one do ? I say trust God,get back to praying,as now is not the time to second guess the end times as we’re already in it.Let’s ensure death does not get us unprepared and not ready,lets prepare our souls to meet it’s maker. Also.cherish those in your circle,hold them close and make the effort to be where they are,see them,listen to them.

Until next time,see ya!

Written by

Laurna G

My sweet Valentine

Forget the roses,

Forget the chocolate,

Wrap yourself up in this blanket,

Cause babe you’re the gift,

Your presence none can duplicate,

They’ll just make mistakes,

Your loving Im sure to take,

Its the real deal,nothing fake,

So glad that we flow in love,

And God sent you from up above,

We fit together like hand and glove,

I keep counting my blessings,

Cause baby your my biggest flex!

Written by

L.G

Girls Day at Mero beach

So it’s the day after my Exams and my bestie and I decide to go to the beach. I have been studying weeks on weeks on end and finally did my exams,she had been stressing and bugging me out for us to go out and the day was finally here.

So we get dressed up real cute she joined me at home and then we hit the town about after 9am. We went to the Grocery store to get some fruits,while passing the fruit stand a woman overheard me mention not really liking apples and she couldn’t resist interrupting our conversation and dragged me and my friend into a 20 minute lecture about healthy eating. Information which we knew but lacked discipline to always input into our lives.After this we cashed and went for some food to bring along as our lunch. We settled for Roti at this Food Joint called Perkeys and get on our way to catch a bus.

On our way we saw a group of young boys seated playing some instruments outside a Pharmacy.They were beating drums and playing so skillfully,it was a joy seeing the young men embrace our culture .

After this we got a bus and head north,it was about a 15 minute drive.As we made our way towards the beach my best friend Tessa and I took pictures and I recorded some footage for my YouTube Channel.

The Sun was blazing hot,the sea was calm and inviting,the beach was not so crowded and the sky was painted in hues of blue and white,this day couldn’t be any more perfect.We settled into the best restaurant we could find,one called the Indee’s Beach bar,the menu was ideal but too bad we had a bag full of snacks and drinks. So I settled for a glass of Jamaican Ginger wine and a portion of fried Plantain as we had to patronize in order to get lounge chairs on the beach.

We were connected to WIFI,with a perfect view of the ocean,set up our little picnic with our music playing we were hyped. Tessa made donuts and I made Carrot cake,we had grapes,bananas,apples,so much that we didn’t hesitate to dive in. We spoke,laughed,ate,drank,with hearts and belly full we decided to go live and Instagram,which was also fun.

Took more footage for my You tube channel and some guys near by seemed to be enjoying us as live footage as they sat near by in admiration. We later went for a swim in the warm,welcoming waters.

Just what I needed after all that studying and working from home,I allowed the waves to cleanse me,renew me,massage my sores and ease my worries away,far away and into the depths.

An hour later we rinsed in showers provided by the restaurant,got dressed and head home.

Written by

L.G

Click to watch Video of the adventure!

Power of Manifestation

So in this write I’ll tell you my brief story about the Power of Manifestations. Call it coincidence or whatever but I’m a believer in faith and the power of the tongue and strong desire.

So example number one I wanted roses for my room I had recently decorated,but I had no idea where I’d get them in town. I desired it,pictured how lovely it look in a vase on my dresser etc.

So one day I am out buying a few things after work when I walk into a store and spot some random roses in the back.I ask the sales guy how much are they,he proceeds to inform me that they have been there a while and I can have them if I want. I couldn’t believe it,I took about a dozen of them and thanked the guy so much. He had given me what I desired for free,I did not pay a dime.

My second manifestation was my crystal necklace, I saw a insta model with a beautiful crystal necklace and I greatly desired one. That time I had no knowledge of crystals and had no idea where I could get them,I screenshot the photograph and forgot about it.Months later my sister’s, best friends son visits us and is talking about oils,herbs,plants and local jewelry he is making.Just to find out that he makes crystal necklaces, once again I was blown away and I manifested something that I wanted.

I can go on and on about things that I greatly desired and didn’t always pray for but was granted to me. I have thought things into existence and have seen the power of spoken words and heart desires come into fruition. My advice is to be careful what you wish for as I have also gotten bad experiences happen by thinking of things negatively too.

Life and death is in the power of the tongue,words have power.Use it wisely.

Written by

Laurna G

People come,People go

I know I’m not the first person this has happened to,I have lost friends and it happened over something so petty that I’m not even sure what it was. Just about a month ago we were at a bar laughing and having fire ball shots,celebrating my birthday. They all gave me gifts and there was a cake and everyone seemed happy,but today so much has changed. In such a short space of time my so called friends have vanished.

Like a cold wind at Christmas,those friends came and went before I could print out one of our outing pictures to frame up. I am left wondering were they my friends to begin with and where did we go wrong. For sure an incident happened and there was a huge misunderstanding but shouldn’t friends communicate their differences and patch things up?

Instead a silence commenced that gave rise to seeds of gossip that spread faster than any grape vine at the office. Cold shoulders,strong ignore games became sport of the day and no one seemed to care enough to break the code of silence. Silence I know is some sort of abuse,low manipulation and done to hurt the other. This has been going on for weeks and tension keeps building and breeding on negativity,causing a some what mold infestation at a stagnant friendship.

Conversations no longer flow,no greetings or acts of kindness shown,nothing but coldness.

Nothing but bruised egos and repetition of a flimsy story in guise of an excuse to cover up the real intentions as to why we stopped talking in the first place. Everyday I grow tired of the whispers and the sarcastic remarks made to sound funny and non judgemental. But I feel judged by a clan of women,calling me the names by which they act FAKE. I feel pulled in a corner, confronted by hate,envy and emotionally marked for reasons I’m not clear about.

Reasons I’m to clear about,reasons no one chooses to address,because I believe no one really wants this to be fixed. Underneath the hurtful manipulation lies a love for drama and negativity in their otherwise boring life,where nothing interesting happens. And they must talk about you because when they talk of themselves no one listens.

So, I’ve lost friends..what else is new?

Written by

Laurna G

Balance

Self confidence is a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgement.

I have oftentimes doubted myself and because of that I sometimes lack confidence. This can be seen in my reluctance to try new things,especially in the field of Sports. Growing up I was often made fun of the way I caught a ball and my sportsmanship suffered because of it,hence after a while I stopped playing sports altogether.

Honestly I am sort of clumsy and I sometimes bounce into things,drop things and have had some embarrassing moments.

The ugly truth is I sometimes lack confidence and on bad days I have to fake it to make it through a normal day. I have to suck in my fear of large crowds and do what I got to do. I know this takes great bravery as I could choose to be a total recluse and not even dare go out to work.

There are some things that I do that helps me make it through a huge crown on really bad days,days when I wish I could melt through the crowd and no one would notice how fair I am,and how I squint my eyes in the sun and how many freckles that cover my face,though my boyfriend likes them,they attract admirers(most times the wrong types).

I have many quirky traits and over the years I have learnt to embrace the awkward,fair,freckled face,wildly wired beautiful soul I am and I have found someone who loves me too but there are days I still feel like crap and I find it hard to make eye contact.

So one of the things I do on really bad days is look down,stare at the streets like they are more interesting than the dozen of faces looking at me.I look at buildings,cars,my reflection in puddles anything to distract me from the attention of people.

On the days that I’m feeling great though I take advantage of this rare occasion and I look up,I notice people,I notice their faces,their freckles, I smile, I greet people,I notice things I love those days.

Today was one of those days,I walked the streets like I owned it, I made small talk and told the vendors keep the change. I looked up so high that I noticed the sky,I noticed people and I noticed that they were not looking at me as much as I thought. Many were just too busy going on their merry way properly trying to avoid the crowd like me on bad days.

My eyes was so stuck on people on the other side of the road,I watched up and down before crossing the streets and I confidently walked over and then I slipped over something. I looked back and saw I stepped on this huge,dead rat..Oh my God I panicked until other pedestrians looked back at me. I felt so disgusted and couldn’t get the image out of my head..I was so high that I didn’t bother looking down,felt so confident that I didn’t slow down to notice the mess before me I was too busy looking kool crossing the road with my confident bounce.

Moral of the story is no matter how high and confident you are,if you don’t bother looking down you will walk into a lot of garbage..know where you are headed but never forget where you came from.

Humility is the quality of having a modest or low view of one’s importance.

That one night..

It was about midnight and I was on my way home, coming from a night out with some friends in the town. Had a couple of shots and cocktails and I felt not drunk but nice.I was surprised but grateful that I got a bus heading my way at this hour.

There were five passengers on board a young couple,a middle aged man with a baby and a old lady. I sat near the old lady and the bus took off, I found it strange that a baby and an elderly were out this late,but who knows,they could be coming from the hospital I thought.

I shifted my body to the side, closed my eyes and decided to rest for about 10 minutes,I could hear the couple giggling and whispering in the back sit and the old lady seemed to be dozing off. The man was baby talking as he rocked the child in his arms.

I don’t know what happened but I was sound asleep when I heard a lady scream my name, so I startled and answered but by the look of everyone it wasn’t any of them. The couple were kissing now and the man was looking at me strangely before going back to playing with his child,the old lady was asleep.

I looked at the driver but couldn’t see his face because of the darkness,I shrugged and closed back my eyes. A few seconds into my rest I took the scent of something foul like decaying flesh,I covered my nose and realized the scent was getting stronger. I opened my eyes to realize the scent was emitting from the old lady next to me.

Flies came from nowhere and began surrounding her,my eyes widened as I pulled myself away from her and closer to the window. I opened the window to let some breeze in and for some reason outside was foggy,I literally thought we were in the clouds. I rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn’t dreaming,but the clouds remained.

“All you not seeing that?” I yelled looking unto where the road supposed to be, but I could see no road,no houses,no street lights just fog. No one answered me and carried on like they were not even hearing me.

I reached out to the bus driver for there was no way he could see where he was going,but the driver’s sit was empty . The bus was driving smoothly however there was no one at the wheel. I screamed and panicked and told the others that they was no one driving but they didn’t seem to care.

Then the road became bumpy and shaky and I quickly flew upfront took control of the wheel and pressed on the brakes. The bus came to a halt and the doors automatically opened and I flew out,as soon as I hit the ground I realized I was at my village and the fog had cleared. Have a good night said the driver as he took off.

I was left shaking and confused,and up to this day no one believes me.

Written by

Laurna G