Dream VS Lesson

Dream I had recently
I got the inspiration to write about a dream I had recently due to a blog a sister shared and I found them to be sort of similar, I guess it was a reminder and a need to share this message with you guys.
I dreamed I was getting married and on the wedding day the groom was nowhere to be seen, my family were busy into catering and I got really puzzled as to who he was. After much confusion I decided I was going to call off the wedding, but I was too ashamed/embarrassed to inform my family since they already had prepared everything.

confused bride

In my pursuit of locating the groom at the church I saw my ex sitting at the front row, I rushed up to him and hoped he was the groom, getting closer to him I realized he was dressed shabbily but had his usual big smile on his face, we greeted each other and I sat next to him and I couldn’t understand why he wasn’t my groom. The entire church was waiting and I didn’t know who my husband was.
I was persuaded there was no wedding and had to end this charade, as I was about to make the announcement the setting changed to the reception area, and here comes the groom through the doors surrounded by people, he was smiling and waving everyone and guess what ..he was a Muslim.

handsome05

He wasn’t what I was expected but he was drop dead gorgeous, I remember thinking that our religion/beliefs were different but he was good looking and that was enough for me. I quickly jumped on his arm and headed at the back of the church. When it was time to walk down the aisle I rushed up to my brother who was the dj and asked him to play my wedding song by Johnny Gill he couldn’t find it on the computer got pissed as I realized I never saved it in my playlist. So I told him to play anything , minutes later we were walking down the aisle dancing to this loud obnoxious, out of place soca music and the weird thing is we were all dancing and moving to it. Lolz
MORALE OF THE DREAM
As I survey this dream I realize that I got married for the wrong reason, I fell for this guy’s looks without any regard to his background, beliefs, goals, morals or anything deep or permanent rooted in the core of his being. All I saw was the outside, I became infatuated, lusted and was stirred by mare feelings instead of pondering the life changing decision I was making. Marriage as we know should be forever, and love is not mare looks, it is patient, kind and comes with forming a deep connection, it is acceptance of that persons good and bad, cherishing and caring for them beyond your soul regardless of how they look or what they have done.

I guess this dream proves how shallow we women and men can sometimes be when it comes to choosing a mate for life, I bet looks is on top of that list. Also, love shouldn’t be rushed, or confusing, in the dream I didn’t even know the man I was going to get married to, I was disorganized and seemed lost.

Marriage should be planned, organized and you both should be on the same level, romantically, spiritually, socially, overall you should want the same things, you should take time to know each other and decide if you can handle this for life. Notice I said looks and not attraction, I support that you be attracted to your mate 100% and have of course chemistry, what I am referring to here is beauty and charm, appealing body types, love is more than the physical and it is kept by nothing else than a strong foundation which is God.

Written by
Laurna Guiste

Wife preparations PART TWO (couple reminders)

Wife preparations PART TWO (couple reminders)
Recent advice given to me by a friend for young women aspiring to be wives.
Firstly one should be in this for the marriage and not only want a wedding. It is a lifelong commitment, after the reception and the honeymoon is over, you have to wake up to this person for the rest of your life.
A wife should be able to take care of whatever her husband provides for her and the home. For instance a husband provides groceries, the wife is to be able to cook and prepare that food. He builds a house; she ought to make that house into a home. Make it inviting and welcoming, keep it clean and peaceful. The place her husband considers his haven, his sweetest place.

A wife should embrace her husband’s friends. She should allow him to bring his friends home, if having his friends over is a problem then the husband will go out to meet his friends and hence she will see less of him. Never make a man choose between you and his friends as his boys” and family, where there before you.

Always allow your husband to have the final say, voice your opinion, bring ideas to the table, but as the head of the house your husband should have the final say, so at the end of the day he can never blame you for it.

A wife should be positive, easy to talk to, and trust her husband. Though a man may have many female friends whom he flirts with doesn’t mean he’s sleeping with them. He married you, he chose you over them because there is something about you that stood out, so be secure that he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you only.
Written by Laurna Guiste

Wife preparations is a special blog corner aimed at encouraging young women aspiring to be great wives, giving training tips and advice. My aim is to raise an awareness of what marriage entails and to ensure that we know what we as young women are heading into and what is expected of us.

What do we women look for in a potential husband..

What do women look for in a potential husband..
In today’s modern world we realize that the tables are being turned and men’s eyes are being open, they are wising up, and rising the levels are bit on what they want in a potential lifelong mate, a woman they want to marry. It really makes no sense to tie the knot with a woman who can’t help you around the house or cook you a hearty meal, after all the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. It’s a blessing to come home to a clean house, well-kept kids and a lovely and pleasant wife.
The point however I would like to make is you put in what you put out, there is nothing wrong in wanting a good, helpful mate but you as a husband have to also play your part in being good and helpful. In choosing a lifelong mate today as a woman one should also be wise and precautious. Making a background check on a man is very important, asking questions about his past relationships, observing his paternal habits, does he like kids, and does he clean up after himself. Can he cook, iron, wash does he depend on others to do everything for him. How good he is at saving and what is his relationship with his mother and other women in his life. Being handsome and being good in bed isn’t going to cut it either for us wise women. We need an all-rounder who not only provides and protects but loves and helps and knows what it is to care for the innate desires of his wife.
When it comes to finding a mate for life it goes both ways, we do not only have to look for idealness in our partner but ensure we have these qualities in us as well.

Written by Laurna Guiste