I know it’s been a while since I’ve blogged about my life and what’s going on with me personally. I really do want to be more real when it comes to my blogs and write about the daily issues that we face as humans. It is solely my desire to inspire people through my writing,after all this is the main purpose behind this blog site,and what other way to inspire my readers if not through my experiences and journeys.
So,its been a few months since My boyfriend and I of four years plus broke up and it has been nothing short of emotional. I have been contemplating writing about it,since it’s still a very touchy subject,nonetheless I believe there is a form of healing in this process of written word.
We ended for reasons to me that were spiritual and emotional and I honestly couldn’t continue being with someone who made me feel slack in those areas. Walking away was easier said than done as it becomes harder to leave someone that you’ve built a connection with and have become used to. You have established a bond and it becomes hard to tear it apart the longer you stay with that person.
After years of going back and fourth I believe it was time to end things as my mind had no peace as we always argued. My heart however,was slower in accepting this, as even though we ended I still felt the need to have him in my life.
The process of letting go proved to be hard and difficult and made me reach out even when I wasn’t suppose to. I was in a whirlpool of emotions trying to figure out whether or not I was doing the right thing.But if someone makes you more stressed than feeling blessed is it really worth it?
Many women choose to stay in emotionally draining relationships because they love the man and they accept less than satisfying treatment all in the name of love. Darling if a man cant do right by you,you got to let him go and trust God to heal you and take care of you.
It took me years to let this man go because I loved him but when love is no longer served you got every right to step away from that table.
But in everything give thanks, and I thank God for through this relationship I learnt things about myself that I did not know existed.I learnt about my attitude,my manipulative ways my sharp tongue and other areas that needs work. You see sometimes we are the reason why things did not work out,we were the toxic person and we got to own that,grow up and work on us. We cant continue doing the same things and expect a different result.I believe this time we both messed up and we both need work and we did not bring out the best in each other.
Presently I am accepting that I need change and only with change comes results,I am working on becoming a better me not for anyone but myself. I am growing through the pains so that I wont repeat the same mistakes.
P.S Self love is so important,loving you,taking care of you,if you cant do that for you what makes you think you’re gonna do it for someone else?It starts with you and you are so worth it.